Konni & Matt - Perpetual Travellers: 07 Nov

Southeast Asia

Republic of Indonesia

Never mind Indonesia, welcome to Bali, the Island of Gods

Kuta

Jalan Poppies

Berlian Inn +62361751501

Spacious double room with air-con and breakfast for IDR 200,000.- or US$ 21.20 per night.

Friendly enough staff.

Click below for an interactive road map of the Berlian Inn in Kuta and for directions:

S 08° 43.18' E 115° 10.30'

Exploring the surfing paradise of Kuta, a popular stop on Southeast Asia's worn out Banana Pancake Trail for backpackers and the wall-to-wall commercialised ground zero of South Bali’s mass tourism, "Australia on a budget", with all the usual attributes: (i) dirty fast-food outlets masquerading as local cuisine, (ii) cheeky touts masquerading as helpful guides, (iii) unskilled house-wives masquerading as Balinese masseuses, (iv) uniformed crooks masquerading as traffic cops and (v) the ever-present stink of rat piss masquerading as the sweet, mesmerising smell of the tropics.

"Don't mix alcohol and motorbikes.

Cover-up and use sunscreen during the peak sun hours.

Always wear condoms.

Be wary of people offering drugs in the streets.

Don't argue with police when they ask for traffic infringement fines."

(Travel Guide)

Basking on the 5-km long, wide and curvy Kuta Beach, still one of the finest and cleanest beaches in the world despite all the ongoing mass tourism, and enjoying right on this famous beach, where in the 1930s CE the tourism industry on Bali began, (i) our first Indonesian Bintang beer (620-ml bottles of ice-cold Bintang Pilsener with c. 4.7 % alc./vol. for IDR 18,000.- or US$ 1.90 per large bottle), (ii) our first Balinese foot reflexology massage (one hour of amateurish maltreatment for IDR 50,000.- or US$ 5.30) and (iii) our first Balinese sunburn (free of charge).

Konni: Buying fancy new beach wear in one of the myriads of fashion boutiques on Jalan Legian and learning from the chatty Balinese owner and philosopher that he had to add on to his XL-dresses about one centimetre per year for the past 15 years in order to cope with the ever increasing meatiness and a visibly growing girth of the young Australian belles...

"Oh you gonna take me home tonight
Oh down beside that red fire light
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round"

(Queen)

Laundering our dirty linen for IDR 8,000.- or US$ 0.85 per kg and get it back, complete and undamaged, washed, dried and ironed, from the reliable Ayu Laundry Service +6285936105044, located in the neighbourhood of our hotel.

Hiring a rugged and tattered 2x4 Suzuki Jimny SJ40 jeep from Bali Manis Tourist Service +623618580879 for IDR 90,000.- or US$ 9.50 per day (based on a negotiated 10-day deal, payable upfront), including unlimited mileage and very limited insurance (no third-party insurance and only a very basic car insurance with US$ 500.- excess), running away from chaotic, overcrowded and congested Kuta and taking off for a 800-km long clockwise circumnavigation of Bali during the following ten days.